


Sleep Away

by plainlystars



Series: Modern War [2]
Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny's Jr., SnowMan (band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2016-08-27
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:34:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7885900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plainlystars/pseuds/plainlystars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watanabe's been acting weird and Miyadate doesn't know why though he wants to. He's trying to understand but without Watanabe opening up, it's difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sleep Away

**Author's Note:**

> Cross posted from Livejournal

Hastening his steps, Miyadate clutches on tighter to the papers and envelopes as the clacking sound of his military boots echoes off the walls in the almost empty corridor save a few soldiers talking to one another in hushed voices like they had something to hide. He ignores them; there are no secrets in the army. And more importantly, he has to hurry back to his room. Somehow he just has this feeling that something is off. That something isn't right. That Watanabe is about to get into trouble. Or worse, get the whole platoon into trouble. And just the thought itself is about to send Miyadate into a frenzy. Their strenuous training schedules as of late and the impromptu attack they had to carry out a week ago do nothing but add on to his stress. On top of that, Watanabe has been acting differently during their training sessions, as if his body was in the room but his mind was somewhere far, far away. Some place where Miyadate couldn’t reach, couldn’t even see and it scared him.

They haven't been in this program for long – none of them have been. They have been in the army for years, yes, but it wasn't like this. It was never like this. The army was built for protection – at least most of the army was although it wasn’t them – not for fighting or killing which is exactly what the program is all about.

Androids have invaded their planet and even the newest weapons created by the most technologically advanced corporation cannot destroy even a single one of them. The troops (trained to protect and care for civilisation) were forced to be trained into heartless souls who killed at command, much like the older days in the previous centuries when war was still rampant around the world. Today, war has found its place amongst the humans yet again. Only this time, they’re fighting a different kind of war. Technology can’t win against technology; that’s what the Generals realised belatedly, only after numerous towns were destroyed by androids. Since then, they had been trying to find a solution to battle against these droids. What’s the use of having an army that could fight and kill but would never win?

It took the military ages before they managed to catch one droid to do tests on. And all it took was the bullet of an antique shotgun through the magnetic skull of the captured droid for them to discover the weakness of those mindless and emotionless machines. Technology couldn’t win against Technology, but traditional methods could.

The army went on a search for all the different kinds of old weapons – rifles, shotguns, grenades – and reproduced them at a rapid pace, distributing them to all the various military bases scattered across the world. This forced the soldiers to unlearn what they have learnt and to start anew, to go back to the basics and utilise these weapons that they have never even seen, let alone heard of in their whole life.

Being Snipers, both Miyadate and Watanabe already had an easier life as compared to the foot soldiers who got sent out almost immediately onto the battlefield regardless of whether or not they have mastered using the weapons or not. The Snipers were different. They were never trained to protect from the start. In fact, they were trained to kill those who deserved it. And who chooses those who deserved it? The Government of course. Those in the army, the Snipers, are just there to carry out orders. It was warped; the whole training system for the Snipers was but yet no one said anything.

So the Snipers have a different set of training. The army makes sure they got used to every single weapon so that they could take out the enemy when they least expect it. But what would they know about how these Androids work? They could only take a risky chance and see if their soldiers are capable enough to deliver the results they wish to see.

We’re no different from murderers, Watanabe had told Miyadate once when he was almost the record holder for the most number of kills. But yet, the thought of killing androids seemed to have thrown Watanabe off completely and it wasn’t something he could come to terms with. It surprised Miyadate initially but then there was a change; a change so subtle that even Miyadate didn’t even notice until it manifested into something uglier, something more serious that Miyadate couldn’t do anything even if he wanted to.

“Shota, please don't do anything dumb...” Miyadate mutters under his breath as he quickens his pace, not caring about the curious stares thrown his way. They should mind their own business.

Shota, please be okay.

A silent prayer echoes in the depths of Miyadate’s heart.

He's about to take a left turn to his room's corridor when he hears someone calling his name. It takes every inch of his willpower and years of grounded training and discipline to keep him from simply ignoring whoever was calling him or pretending not to hear and just walk away.

“Miyadate.” The other person’s voice is louder now, a sign that he is getting nearer and that pushes all thoughts of dashing off out of Miyadate’s mind. Besides, it is rude not to acknowledge someone calling you.

Above all that, it is his General calling him.

“General Takizawa.”

Miyadate turns around and bows forty five degrees, no more, no less, as he had been trained and Takizawa nods briefly before Miyadate straightens his back again, standing tall and upright in the stance that he’s been so used to for the past ten years. His posture is at least something he can pride himself on, much more than Watanabe can anyway.

“I heard people talking about you being in a hurry after you left the postal centre,” Takizawa pauses there, brows furrowed as if contemplating whether or not to continue and it makes Miyadate anticipate his next words, not knowing what to expect. “They said you looked quite panicky. And worried.”

That catches Miyadate off guard and he tightens his grip on the materials in his hand. Such rough treatment to these delicate papers must have made them crease and crumple all over by now but that is currently the least of Miyadate's concern. Especially when the General seems to be hinting that something is wrong. He doesn’t think that his expression gives away his anxiousness and discomfort. However, his uneasiness must have shown in his body actions as Takizawa is now sending a sceptical look his way.

“It's nothing, General,” Miyadate replies as calmly as he can, trying to keep the shakiness out of his voice, his fists still clenched tightly into a ball. “I just wish to write my letters soon.” It is a lame excuse of an explanation that he is sure Takizawa wouldn’t buy. But it doesn’t hurt to try.

As expected, Takizawa naturally glosses over Miyadate’s obvious lie and goes straight to the point. “Is it Watanabe?” Takizawa asks directly and Miyadate is sure that his lip quivered slightly when he tries to open his mouth to form an answer. “Is something up with him?”

‘Yes’, Miyadate wants to say but he chooses to lower his head instead, not daring to look Takizawa in the eye. ‘He's acting weird but I can't put a finger around it and I don't know why.’

He doesn't know if anything’s wrong, he can’t say for sure, which is precisely why he can't tell Takizawa that there's a problem. In fact, there might not even be a problem and it is all just in Miyadate's head. But no, Miyadate is almost certain that there is something bothering Watanabe. He just needs more time to talk to the other about it. It is pretty clear to Miyadate that Watanabe has a problem, seeing that he has spent nearly every second of his life with the other. Also, he definitely isn’t blind to the fact that Watanabe has been acting weird ever since they had to attack a town filled with their enemies nearby.

When Miyadate looks up again, he meets the General's cold eyes and trepidation churns in his stomach. The General is a nice man; intimidating, but also caring and gentle when the time calls for it. Despite knowing that, Miyadate still gets chills every time he comes face to face with the General alone. It isn’t something he can get used to, even after ten years.

Takizawa seems to notice Miyadate's discomfort and his eyes soften quickly. “I'm sorry,” he says quietly. “I wasn't intending on sounding so harsh. I just – ” he stops there as he runs his fingers through his hair and that's when Miyadate notices the other's eye bags and sunken cheeks. The General looks awfully fatigued and worn out. The General looks old and it worries Miyadate.

“General, I understand,” Miyadate assures Takizawa that he doesn’t need any explanation. “It's really nothing big. But I'm just concerned about Shota. He – ” Miyadate hesitates but when he catches a glimpse of worry in Takizawa's eye, he feels the need to continue. “I'm not exactly sure but something feels off about Shota. Ever since we came back from the town square, he hasn't been acting the same. I don't think it has gotten around to his head that we're killing robots and not humans.”

“That's a concern,” Takizawa comments immediately, voice grave. “Especially since he's a Sniper.”

All Miyadate can do is nod his head in agreement because he understands the duty of a Sniper, being one himself.

“I know the Snipers will be going out in pairs and that you’ll be partnering him, but you can't be covering for him all the time.”

Again, Miyadate stays quiet as he nods his head solemnly.

Shaking his head, Takizawa sighs. “Where did the old Shota go to? He was one of the best Snipers, no? I remember him having one of the highest kill rates.”

It was a simple question and one that Miyadate could answer but he chooses to stay silent. He isn’t trying to be rude and Takizawa must have guessed as much, seeing that he does not pursue the matter any further. But the question still hangs in the air. What happened to Watanabe?

“Tell me he’ll be fine before the first mission, Ryota.”

Whenever the General calls them by their first name, he's putting away his status and the ranks between them to show his concern as a parental figure and this is what Miyadate likes best about the General.

“He will,” Miyadate replies resolutely. “Shota will, General. Have faith in him.” It's what Miyadate says but he doesn't think it's faith that they need.

Takizawa nods understandingly before he places a hand on Miyadate's shoulder giving it a firm squeeze. “You take care of him, alright?”

All Miyadate does is nod, not needing words to convey his sincerity in taking care of Watanabe. Of course he will. The General doesn't need to tell Miyadate that for him to do so. No one needs to tell him to do that for him to do so.

“Now run along.” Takizawa offers Miyadate a kind smile before patting his shoulder twice and then letting his hand fall to his side. “I'm sorry I took up so much of your time.”

“Not at all, General,” Miyadate replies quickly much to Takizawa's amusement.

Miyadate bows again to bid Takizawa goodbye before turning around and walking back to his room as swiftly as possible. He hears Takizawa chuckling faintly and smiles to himself.

 

“Shota?”

No reply comes and Miyadate tenses up a little. He doesn't realise his breathing has turned ragged until he belatedly hears himself in the stillness of the room. Nervously, he walks towards Watanabe's bed after throwing the writing materials onto his bed and pales when he sees the bed empty and untouched.

“I’ll go get the writing materials, Shota,” Miyadate announced as Watanabe raised a brow at him. "We're allowed to write letters." He smiled fondly when the other boy's face visibly brightened up.

“Then hurry get going!” The excitement in his voice didn't go unheard. On top of that, he even stood up to usher Miyadate out of the door. “It's so ridiculous that we're in the 31st century and still need to write letters.”

There's something weird about the way Watanabe said it but it slips Miyadate's mind as the latter started to whine and push at Miyadate's arm to hurry.

“I’ll be back soon.”

It's not like Miyadate had to assure Watanabe or anything but he just wanted to.

Watanabe gave a tired but loving smile. “I’ll be sleeping.”

“Shota?” Miyadate tries again.

He doesn't have to raise his voice. Seeing how small their room is, Watanabe would have heard him if he was in the room.

Just as Miyadate is about to leave the room, he hears a soft thump from the direction of their shared wardrobe. Without a second thought, he rushes over and swings the door open only to find Watanabe curled up there, sleeping soundly against the side of the wardrobe with Miyadate's blanket thrown over him. Miyadate lets out a breath he doesn’t know he is holding as a sense of relief rushes through him before he shakes Watanabe gently.

“Shota, wake up.”

Watanabe makes a soft sound and mumbles something unintelligible, making Miyadate smile like the hopelessly in love boyfriend he is.

Figuring that shaking Watanabe wouldn't wake him up, Miyadate opts for carrying the other to bed. As soon as Watanabe is in Miyadate's arms, Miyadate can't help but notice (yet again) that the other has lost weight. He can understand why Watanabe loses weight when they are training too much or preparing for their next fight but they've been back in the military base for four days with not much training or preparations at all so why isn’t Watanabe eating?

Slowly, he lowers Watanabe onto the other's own bed and is about to leave when he sees Watanabe frowning causing his own brows to knit together. He crams himself onto the single bed next to Watanabe and starts to stroke the other's hair. Before he even senses any movement, Watanabe is already resting his head on Miyadate's thigh, his frown now gone and replaced by a sweet smile. Miyadate sighs and cards his fingers through Watanabe's messy hair before glancing to his bed where all the writing materials are.

Letter writing can wait.

 

Miyadate didn’t realise when he fell asleep but he finds himself being awakened when he feels Watanabe stirring in his lap. As Miyadate is about to move Watanabe's head away carefully, the other starts to scrunch his nose up and slowly blinks open his eyes. He stares at Miyadate blearily for a moment before trying to stifle a yawn.

“Morning,” Watanabe mumbles, voice sleep-heavy, as Miyadate works out the kinks in his neck. “When did you get back?”

Adjusting himself into a more comfortable position while trying not to shake Watanabe too much, Miyadate manages to slide further down the headboard and figures that would do since Watanabe looks way too comfortable to be willing to move anywhere. Absently, he then curls his fingers in the other's bed hair. “I got back a while ago and found you sleeping in the closet.”

Surprise is etched onto Watanabe's face when Miyadate looks back down at him and unconsciously, his hands stop moving. "Why were you sleeping in the closet?"

“Sleepwalked,” says Watanabe casually and shrugs for extra effect. “Nothing serious.”

“But you don't sleepwalk,” Miyadate points out, taking on a slight accusatory tone causing Watanabe to wince guiltily. “Was it a nightmare? Was it because of the raid at the town square?”

Watanabe lets out an exasperated noise and pushes himself up to a sitting position before Miyadate can stop him. His back faces Miyadate and all the latter can tell is that his breathing is turning a little erratic but it stables as soon as it comes and it stabs at Miyadate's heart to see his boyfriend suffering.

Without saying anything more, Miyadate slides his arms around Watanabe's waist causing the other to stiffen for a moment but the other relax almost instantly. “You know you can tell me anything,” Miyadate murmurs against the back of Watanabe's neck and places a few kisses there.

“It's just that – ” Watanabe cuts himself short and whines softly. “It's just so ridiculous that we're in the 31st century but using weapons from the 21st century.”

“It's the only way to win,” Miyadate speaks calmly, ever the more reasonable one of the two. “They're not humans, Shota. That's all you need to know. All you need to understand. I thought we've been through all these in the academy so what's up now, Shota?” He pauses and waits for a response. “You were always the better student.”

A shaky laugh escapes Watanabe's mouth. “I can't kill people.”

Ironic that Watanabe is saying this now after having bloodied his hands countless of times.

“They're droids,” Miyadate says before pressing his lip into a thin line. Why can't Watanabe see that?

“They look like people,” Watanabe counters back quickly, defensively. “And I can’t kill innocent people. You can't blame me for not being a natural born killer like you,” he spits out bitterly but sniffs immediately after, telling Miyadate that he didn't mean what he said. It's all just anger; Miyadate knows even without Watanabe saying anything.

“Shota – ”

“Ryota.” Watanabe removes Miyadate's hands from his waist to turn around and face him. “Let's not talk about this now, okay?”

“We're going to have missions soon. You can't go out on the field like that. You may be removed from duty and I’ll have a new partner and – ”

Watanabe stops Miyadate's ramble by pressing his lips against the other's.

“Just have faith in me,” Watanabe mumbles and there's uncertainty in Miyadate's eyes which scares Watanabe a little. “Please,” he begs a little and Miyadate's expression soften.

“It's not about faith, Shota. I'm just worried about you.” And Miyadate isn’t lying at all. It’s not faith he or Watanabe or anyone needs.

“I know, I know.” Watanabe sighs and cups one side of Miyadate's cheek. “I’ll be fine.”

Not knowing what else to say, Miyadate settles for nodding and gripping on to Watanabe's arm as if the latter was going to disappear if he let go.

“So you brought back the letter writing stuff right?” Watanabe asks cheerfully, a stark contrast to his previous sombre mood.

“Yeah,” Miyadate replies with a tired smile, unable to shake off the queasy feeling that something is still bothering Watanabe. He’ll have the chance to find, just not now. “They're on my bed. Just over the – ”

Before he's even done with his sentence, Watanabe is scrambling over Miyadate to reach the pens and papers, leaving Miyadate a little dumbstruck. Though the reason he gets next explains Watanabe’s eagerness perfectly well. “Got to write to Mama.”

Of course.

Miyadate smiles and goes over to his own bed to pick up a pen and paper as well. Since Watanabe is busy with his own heartfelt letter to his mother, he probably won’t bother to see what Miyadate is writing at all. So Miyadate feels safe to write this letter here, right now.

"Dear Shota…”


End file.
